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You big disgrace.

I wish I was shitfaced everyday man. Such an asshole thing to say but whatever. Getting drunk in the day is kind of symbolic of a problem but there is something beautiful about being blurry drunk and seeing the sun. I don't know. I've been making a half hearted effort to sober up. I haven't touched a drink in like eight days. Thats like three more days than average. I don't really view myself as a drunk even though a lot of people disagree, but sometimes I sit down and I'm like shit I need a fucking drink. Its just that I don't really have a lot of people I trust enough to talk to so its kinda nice to sit down and have a rum and coke and watch a rerun of that 70's show and be happy enough with that.

Anyhowwww I've been doing dopeski in school lately mostly cause why not you know? Its easier to do good in school than to do bad at this point. Like why the fuck not you know. I mean I'm not going to take a lot of credit cause its winthrop house and it doesn't really take a genius. Besides I was too much of a fuck up for too long.

I'm pretty unsatisfied with myself. I feel like I've made like some strides this year but I haven't improved enough. Basically I suck. I'm trying to improve. I feel like its hard for me to do more than one thing. I'm so sick of my sloppiness though.

I kind of only write in this shit when I'm feeling especially low so like, idk I swear to God I'm usually not even close to this pathetic.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I'm so fucking useless all the time.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Mar. 26th, 2013 09:14 pm (UTC)
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